Saturday, June 9, 2012
Yep, it's been a year since Desmond came home from Korea. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, like when he is all happy and giggly and I can't believe it's only been a year. And then other times it seems as if we have had him for.ev.er, like when he is throwing tantrum number 20 and it's only 7am and I think to myself: "I can't believe I'be been putting up with your tantrums for a whole year!". I was lurking around the adoption forum and I ran across a family that has recently brought home a little boy of their own from Korea. She mentioned that from day one her kiddo called her "Omma", which is "Mommy" in Korean. I got to thinking about it and Desmond hasn't really ever called me anything. I call myself "Mama", like: "Mama wants you to obey", but he doesn't call me that. When he first came home he would call out in the middle of the night for his foster mom: "Omma! Omma!". I would respond and then he would look at me like: "You ain't my mama lady!". After awhile though he did accept my comfort and came to tolerate me, then like me. Now I can't get him to leave me alone! :) Should you ask Desmond who is mother is he will point to me, but he won't say "Mama". Everyday when Michael gets home from work he will run to the window and shout: "Dad! Dad!" He gets really excited when dad comes home. To my knowledge he doesn't do that when I get home from the grocery store, usually he follows me into the kitchen screaming: "YUM YUM!" I can only recall two times when Desmond has actually said "Mama". The first time was when I had just put him into timeout, yep he screamed "Mama" in anger. It was kind of funny, I chuckled. The other time he said "Mama" was just a few weeks ago when he got in trouble for something and Dad took away his applejuice. He tried to plead his case to me, as if I was going to go get his applejuice back. Both Michael and I laughed at that one too, that kid is just so darn cute even when his crying. When Desmond had his heart surgery and was coming around right after the surgery the nurse told me he was calling for me. We got into the the room and he was moaning "Omma, Omma". I told the nurse that he wasn't calling for me, he was calling for his foster mom back in Korea. I think the nurse immediately started crying. I wasn't hurt by the fact that he wanted the woman who raised from 3 months till 17 months of age, she nursed him after his first surgery and took him to all his doctor appointments. I am also not hurt that he doesn't call me anything, he has never really needed to. I am with him for the most part 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I am always nearby and all he has to do to get my attention is come up to me tell me what he wants. I feed him, cuddle him, take care of him, let him fall asleep in my arms prior to nap time, rock him for 30 minutes!! before bed, hold him when he is hurting, take him to the splash park because he loves it even though I hate the summer heat, let him have two peices of cake at Sunday dinner, drive the grocery cart all crazy because it cracks him up, let him climb all over those big red concrete balls outside of Target while everyone is staring because the moment we pull into the parking lot he is yelling excitedly: "A ball! A ball", let him watch Elmo's World a lot!, get up in the middle of the night when he cries just to make sure he isn't cold, take him to the doctor for the bazillionth time. I do all those things because he is my son and I am his mother. He doesn't need to call me "Mama" because I am his mom and he knows it and that is all that matters.